Peekaboo! I see you!
by PsychoandProud
Summary: The Flock has to watch Max's one-year-old cousin for a whole day. No problem. Piece of cake. How much trouble could one baby be?...R&R please! Somewhat of a sequel to "Nighty Night, Don't Let the Dream Hoppers Bite."
1. Welcome Baby Xavier

**Hi! I said I would write another MR fanfic, and so I did. I hope everyone likes this as much as the last one!**

**And if you _didn't_ read 'Nighty Night, Don't Let the Dream Hoppers Bite", you may want to go read it, because I might pull some stuff out of it. But this story can pretty much stand on it's own if you don't feel like reading the other one.  
**

**Basically, I spent a whole week with my nephew, Xavier, and observed all the bad thing he did. Then I wondered what the Flock would do with a baby...**

**Enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer: I own my plot and Xavier.**

"Who's Aunt Ginny?" I whispered to Ella.

"Our Aunt on Mom's side, she lives not too far from here. About an hour, if you don't hit traffic," she answered.

Iggy groaned, "Why can't his dad do it?" he was asking my mom, "Can't he take _one_ day off from work?"

Mom shook her head and threw a few last minute things in her purse, "Because," she told him, "Anytime he has off, he's going to be with his wife. Now," she handed me a paper, "Here's a list of numbers _for emergencies only_. I'll be back tomorrow night. If you need any help, you can call Jeb." Like that's gonna happen.

We walked her to the door and waved goodbye until her car was out of sight. It was just my luck my Aunt would have a baby and need help on a Friday. And to make it all the better, we get to watch her son until Sunday morning! Oh joy! What fun!

Fang looked at the clock, "Ok," he announced, "Exactly six hours till the little guy gets here. I don't know 'bout you guys, but I'm gonna go enjoy my precious hours with a six bags of Doritos and _I Am Ledgend. _**(A/N WICKEDLY AWESOME MOVIE!!)**_"_

Iggy, Nudge and Ella joined him, but I sent Gazzy and Angel (after much protest) to bed. Total was already dead asleep on Angel's bed.

Six hours. Six hours until I'm stuck with a one-year-old for a whole day. I stole a chip from Fang's horde.

Thank God the kid's already potty-trained.

+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+

"Max!" Iggy called up the stairs, "Your Uncle's here!"

I moaned and rolled off my bed and onto the floor. Can you tell how _excited_ I am? I tried to telepathically call my clothes over, not much surprise it didn't work. Fang poked his head in the door.

" Whoa," he laughed, "You look like hell."

"You don't look much better," I commented, sitting up, "What time is it?"

Fang shrugged, "I dunno," he said, "Somewhere around five."

I pulled a pillow over my face, "Too early…five more minutes…"

He came in and pulled the pillow off me, "Uh uh, you're coming down stairs. Now."

"Whyyyyyyyyy?" I moaned.

"Because the others don't know how to take care of a pet rock," he told me, "They need you. And I'm not taking any blame if they hurt the kid." I knew he was right. We once let Gazzy keep a lizard he'd found as a pet. It didn't last for more than two days.

I believe its little tombstone is still there.

I followed Fang down stairs into the living room where Iggy was setting out an array of toys and baby books. Nudge sat next to him, holding what at first looked like a lump of blankets. She smiled as we walked over.

"Oh my God, Max!" she squealed, "This little guy is soooo dang cute! He can already say my name!" She moved the blanket away and instantly a little hand grabbed it.

"No!" the lump shrieked, "No, Nudgie. I asweeeeep!"

"See?!" Nudge said, "Isn't that so adorable?!"

Fang looked out the window, "Yeah, sure. Where's his dad?" he asked, changing the subject.

Iggy handed me a big black notebook, "He came, he gave us the kid and left. He said he was rushing. And he gave us this notebook. Said it would have everything we need in it. All_ I_ could find in it was paper." There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

I flipped through the scribbled on pages. _Favorite toys, naptime, no-nos, dos and don't's._ Huh?

"I think it's a manual," Fang spoke up, "You know, like a car manual. It tells you how it works and what to do when something goes wrong. In this case; what he likes and how to keep him happy."

_A baby that comes with a manual?_ The Voice scoffed in my head. _That would be something. It would've made parenting a heck of a lot easier._

**You barely had to do any parenting, Jeb. **I barked back. **So don't **_**you**_** start complaining.**

I looked over at Nudge's bundle, "So, er, what does he look like?" I asked, peering into the blankets. Nudge put the lump down and unwrapped it. A little boy sat up and looked at me with big, beautiful blue eyes. His blond hair fell into his face and he had to squint to look at me.

"Who's dat?" he asked, looking back at Nudge.

Nudge giggled, "That's Max. Can you say 'Max'?"

"Max…" he echoed in a soft voice. He pointed at Fang, "Who's dat?"

"Fang."

"Fwang."

Iggy handed him a toy dog, "Can you say 'Iggy'?" he asked hopefully.

The baby thought for a second before screeching, "IgGEE!", stressing the last syllable very loudly. Then he Looked up at Fang and held his arms out, "Zazoo," he whined, "Zazoo, Fwang."

Fang raised an eyebrow and took the notebook from me. "There," he said after flipping through it, "It _is_ a manual. Here's a list of interpretations for his baby language. 'Zazoo' means 'hold you' which mean 'hold me." He looked down at the baby, "You want me to hold you?" he asked.

The baby's response was to stretch his arms further and screech.

Fang turned to me with a 'do I have to look?' look on his face. I hesitated, but nodded. Fang rolled his eyes and awkwardly picked the little boy up.

"Wow," Fang said surprised, "He's pretty light." The baby snuggled up into Fang's arms and closed his eyes. Nudge 'aw'ed and came over to pet his little angelic head.

I reached forward and pushed the blond screen away from his eyes, "What's his name?" I asked Nudge.

Before Nudge could over her mouth, the baby opened his blue eyes and smiled, "Xavier," he whispered. His eyes twinkled and his smiled turned into a grin. All his innocence seemed to melt away.

Fang and I gave each other a worried look. He was just a baby. Baby's don't have mischievous thoughts. Right?

Right?!

**REVIEW PLEASE!!!! I will hopefully get the next chapter up really soon!**


	2. Fwang's puter

**Here's the next chapter! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride, only Xavier.  
**

Max was introducing Xavier to Ella, Gazzy, Angel, and Total when I snuck upstairs to my room. It's not that I don't like the kid; it's just that he's already choosing favorites.

And guess who he wants to hold him, _all the time_?

I had officially been dubbed his 'royal carrier' from the first moment I picked him up. And he didn't let me put him down after that. He already hates Nudge, glares at Max, doesn't even look at Iggy, and seems indifferent to Gazzy and Angel. But he absolutely _loves_ me and Total.

And I know Max saw me run upstairs, but I think she understands.

"Xavier!" Nudge was calling downstairs, "Where are you?" Great, they lost him already. Not my problem. I pulled my laptop out to catch up on blogging.

Title: B—

Before I could even write the title, two little hands slammed down on the keyboard, shutting down everything. Xavier gave me a big smile. "PUTER!" he shrieked, "I have it!"

Crap, I forgot to lock my door, "Uh uh," I said sternly, moving the laptop away from him, "Not touch. Fang's computer."

Xavier frowned and pulled it back, "I have it!" he said again, "Xavier's puter." I pried it away from him and scooped him up in my arms.

"No," I told him, "Don't touch." He seemed to understand this time and repeated what I said in a soft voice. Then he pointed to the door.

"Fwang?" he asked, "Max!"

Thank God, "You want to go to Max?" He nodded and squirmed out of my arms. I watched him run away yelling 'zazoo Max'.

+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+

We lost him. Two minute playing with him and we'd lost him. Fang was wrong; even _I _couldn't take care of a pet rock.

"Check in the kitchen," Iggy dictated from the couch. This is one of the rare times he's glad to be blind.

Gazzy stopped and turned to him, "You could help look too, ya' know," he grumbled.

Iggy shook his head, "Nope, I can't look if I can't see. Besides, I thought I was helping."

"No," everyone said at once.

_Don't worry, Max. Soon enough he'll have little ones of his own running around and driving him crazy, and then he'll be asking _you_ for help._

That time won't come soon enough. I doubt Iggy could e that responsible if his life depended on it.

Now where is that kid?!

"Max!" I felt something attach to me leg. Guess who it was?

"There you are," I sighed with relief, picking Xavier up, "Don't run off like that!" He looked down, as if to say 'I'm sorry for worrying you' and rested his golden head on my shoulder. I set him down and the others crowded around him.

"You scared us," Ella said, ruffling his hair.

Gazzy hugged Xavier, "Yeah, don't do that, wittle guy," he cooed.

Iggy pulled him into his arms and tickled him, "Ok?" he asked sternly.

Xavier nodded and giggled. Then he stopped and his face fell, "Fwang," he sighed, "No touch Fwang's puter."

"No touch Fang's what?" Nudge asked, picking up the notebook, "Oh! Computer! Fang wouldn't let you touch his computer?" Xavier shook his head sadly. He tugged oh Iggy's shirt.

"I have it! Xavier have puter!" he whined.

Iggy stood up with him, "Alright, let's go see if Fang feels like sharing."

I stopped him, "I dunno, Ig. He could mess something up on there," I told him.

Iggy shrugged, "We could just turn it off and let him press the key for a little while." Xavier nodded and (unnecessarily) directed Iggy up the stairs.

+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+

Not ten minutes later Fang ran downstairs and shoved Xavier into my arms.

"Take him!" he said angrily, "And do _not_ let him near _anything _electronic!"

I looked at the grinning baby and then at Fang, "Um," I hesitated, "Why?"

Fang pointed accusingly at Xavier, "Because, that little monster deleted _half _of my pictures, renamed my files, set up a _myspace _account, signed himself up for a _credit card _and then _crashed the whole laptop_!"

Xavier pointed at Fang, "No touch, Xavier's puter," he said smugly, "_I _have it."

Fang looked like he was going to explode.

"Ok," I said calmly, handing Xavier to Gazzy and ushering them out of the room and Fang's wrath, "Fang, he's just a baby, if he really did do those things—"

"Oh, he did…"

"…then I'm sorry, but we can't yell at him. He won't understand."

Fang grumbled something unintelligible and went back upstairs. Could a baby really have done that much damage in so little time? He seemed so innocent.

Gazzy ran into the room and grabbed my arm, "Uh, Max?" he asked frantically, pulling me into the kitchen, "We need you in here. Now. And if worse comes to worse, we may need a new fridge."

"I HAVE IT!" Xavier's voice screeched.

Why, why me?

**I love bad babies. They're so cute!**

**REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!  
**


	3. More Duice!

**Thank for the reviews!!!! They mean so much to me!**

**And just to let you know, if you don't think Xavier can get any badder, think again...**

**Disclaimer: I'm not James Patterson. And I'd like it to stay that way.  
**

I followed Gazzy into the kitchen, just a _little_ too fast.

"Woah!" I screamed, slipping on the wet ice-covered floor. I quickly caught myself on the counter. Gazzy wasn't so fortunate.

"Wha—AHHHHH!" he slid face-first into the glass doors leading to the backyard.

"What's going on in here?" I asked dumbfounded, gasping at the wide open fridge and the turned over chairs. Ella and Nudge stopped sweeping up the ice and bit their lips. Angel finally spoke up.

"Um," she started, "Well, Xavier wanted some ice. See, he has a pacifier that's mesh, it's for an infant so you can let him suck on a piece of food and not worry about him swallowing it. **(A/N those pacifiers are LIFESAVERS) **And the manual said we could put ice in it if Xavier got thirsty. And then," she glanced at the fridge, "when I opened the freezer to get it, he pushed a chair over and knocked all the ice containers out, and, uh, ripped a few freezer shelves out." She looked down at her feet, "I don't think he meant to cause trouble."

"What are you talking about?" Gazzy exclaimed, "You said yourself you read his mind and he did it purp—" Nudge slapped her hand over his mouth.

I just stood there, mouth open. I took a deep breath, "Where is he?" I asked in my calmest voice.

Angel shuffled into the pantry and I heard her whispering Xavier's name. She ran back, "He's gone!" she cried, "Oh, God! He could be anywhere!"

"NO!" Iggy's voice screamed from upstairs, "Nononononono! Don't _do_ that!"

Gazzy rolled his eyes, "Gee," he muttered, "I wonder what that could be."

+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+

Ella dumped the dustpan of ice cubes in the sink, "Nudge," she whispered after Max ran upstairs, "Do…do you think we should tell Max about the stove yet?"

Nudge shook her head, "I think she has enough to deal with right now," she sighed.

+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+

"I'm sorry," was all I could say.

Fang took his face out of his pillow, "Max?" he asked shakily, "Is it against the law to dangle a baby outside a window?"

"Um, yeah." That was a little obvious.

He looked disappointed, "I guess I'll just kill him some other way," he sighed. I wanted to comfort him, say something to lift his spirits, if only for the moment. But I was tongue-tied. What are you supposed to say to someone who just had a gallon of grape juice poured into their sock drawer and all over their floor?

But the real question is, what do you do with the culprit?

"I HAVE IT!" Xavier screeched from Iggy's arms, struggling to get 'his' juice, "Duice!" he cried, "More duice!" Little tears rolled down his face. Iggy shifted him in his arms.

"Uh uh," he scolded, "No du-juice. God, I'm even talking like him now."

"DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUICE!" he screamed, "Bad IgGEE! My duice! MINE!"

For a second I forgot he was a baby, "Shut up!" I snapped at him, "You are such a NUCIENCE!" I stopped and I heard Fang and Iggy gasp. I rarely ever lose it like this. I snapped at a baby. A _baby_. As annoying as he was, he didn't have the sense to know it was wrong, not the way an older kid would.

But did he cry? Noooo. He bit his lip and glared at me. "I," he said slowly, "Want. Duice. NOW. Max, Duice!"

Alright, _that_ was it.

I took him from Iggy and stormed out of the room. "Max?" Iggy called after me, "Hey! Where are you taking him?"

I went into my mom's room where she had set a portable crib. I stuck the little monster in and turned the light off. As much as he wasn't gonna like it, a nap was the only way the rest of us could keep our heads on for the rest of the day.

"No…" I heard his little voice sob, "M-Max? No nap." The sound of something thumping against the wall made me open the door again. A baby book lay on the ground and Xavier stood up, hatred in his eyes, "OUT!" he cried, "XAVIER OUT!"

I closed the door again and walked back into Fang's room, plopping down on the bed. I could hear Xavier crying, calling my name and telling me to 'zazoo' him. Guilt started to crawl through my stomach.

Iggy smiled a bit, "Hey," he laughed quietly, "It's probably good you did that. He may just be overtired."

I smiled back, "Yeah, maybe," I replied.

Fang got up and peeked out the door, "Um," he said nervously, "Is he supposed to be in the hallway…with the lamp?"

Oh you've got to be kidding me…

**Wmahaha, evil baby. **

**And the evil baby is requesting reviews. Actually, my nephew _did_ call today and told me he was a 'bad boy' and he loved 'Xavier's soap' (yes, he eats soap, but he's not _supposed_ to.) I love him so much!  
**


	4. Edelweiss

**Ok, I've been bad in the past with changing the POV and not saying so. No more. And this chapter has no Max POV in it. Now there's three little things I want to say before I go on with the chapter:**

**1) This is a sad attempt to write a cute chapter. Sorry if it sucks, I can't write cute that well.  
**

**2) I'm very open to suggestions of what Xavier should do. And thanks to 3 wingsforlife 3 for giving me a great idea for the next chapter. I honestly didn't know how I was going to continue until she (she, right?) gave me the idea.**

**3) Has anyone besides me noticed how weirdly g's are written in books? I mean, seriously, they're all curly and loopy. No one writes them like that!**

**E**_n_j**o_y_!**

**Disclaimer: I'm not James Patterson blah blah blah, ect, so on and so forth.**

**Iggy's POV  
**

I'm gonna start taking account of how many times Xavier's names is being screamed here. Let's see, I've yelled 'Xavier' at least ten times, Fang's yelled it twenty (wait, make that twenty-one), Max's screeched it-ooh-somewhere aroooound…seventy? And everyone else had squeezed it in the conversations about forty times all together.

And we wonder why we have headaches…

"Is he asleep yet?" Gazzy asked wearily, taking the pillow off his head.

Max reached over and turned the baby monitor on, wincing as it screamed, "MAAAAAAAAAAX! ZAZOooOOooOOooO! NO NAP! NO NAAAAAAP! **shutter** Zazoo, zazoo, zazoo, zaaaazooo…."

I threw a pillow at her, "Oh, for cryin' out loud, turn it off!" I groaned. Max clicked the damn contraption off and put it back on the coffee table. You'd think that maybe, just _maybe_ after an hour he'd give up crying. But I swear that kid was more headstrong than the Flock combined. And that's a freakin' strong head as it is.

"My head hurts," Angel whined.

Max sighed, "Then take an aspirin and go lie down," she told her, handing her the aspirin bottle (we've all had at least four by now.) "Hey Ig," she asked me, "Where's Fang?"

I shrugged, "Last I knew he was relaxing in his room…"

+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+

**Fang's POV**

I don't care _what_ Iggy told you, I AM NOT RELAXING. Why? Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's the siren without an off button stationed right down the hall from me. That tends to keep a guy in discomfort for a while. Complaining? Me? No, never. I _love_ the little monkey. With all my heart.

Oh wait, silly me, I don't have one.

Xavier's voice went up and octave, and when you have hearing like mine, that hurts…_a lot_. I had to shut him up, for the Flock's sake. Just the walk down the hall took a lot out of me. "Xavier," I hissed and went over to the crib, "Stop it. Just take your freakin' nap already!"

He looked up at me and held his arms up, "F-Fwaaaaang," he whimpered, "I sorwee. Xavier be good boy. Zazooo…" I set my jaw and shook my head. He sucked his breath in dramatically and burst into tears again, throwing himself face-down into the sheets. I noticed for the first time that they were soaked. So were his pants.

Aw, dang….

"Are…are you wet?" I asked almost to myself, lifting him up a bit. A half full sippie-cup **(A/N everyone knows what those are, right?) **rolled out from the blanket, spilling more water on the sheets. He pointed to the cup.

"Spill. Fwang, spill," he stopped crying to tell me. I lifted him out of crib and laid him on the floor to see just how bad it was. From the navel down he was sopping wet. I looked over at the bag of his stuff we'd moved upstairs and reached inside, pulling out an assortment of baby clothes. Xavier had stopped his sobbing and was now very occupied with helping me pick out a matching outfit for him. After a lot of disagreements, we decided on a pair of jeans with a patchwork puppy on the pocket and a light blue T-shirt with the same puppy on the front of it resting on the words 'puppy eyes'.

After the clothes change, I tried to put him back to bed, but he seemed Velcroed to me and refused to go back, telling me "No nap. Not tiered." So I settled with lying next to him on Dr. Martinez's bed while he 'read' me one of his books (more like turned the pages and held it as far away from me as possible when I tried to tell him what the pictures were.)

By the time the story was over, Xavier's eyes were drooping and he struggled to keep his head up. But trying to sneak him back into his own bed would wake him up too much and he'd protest again. Against my better judgment, I decided to let his fall asleep first and then move him. I wrapped my arms around his little body and let him burry his face in my chest. His breathing changed and he stopped wiggling around. I almost believed he was finally asleep when I heard him start singing.

"Edelweiss, Edelweiss, evwee mornin you gweet me. Small and wie, cween and bwight…" he sighed and curled his hands into little fist, pulling them in under him.

"…you look happy to meet me," I finished. Wait, did…did I just sing…to a baby? Xavier was surprised too and gave me a strange look. A smile crawled on his face and he tugged on my shirt.

"Fwang…sing? Pweeve?" he pleaded.

No. Just, no. Never, never in a million years was I going to…but…he's giving the eyes, and the lip….

I took a breath, "Blossom of snow may you bloom and grow," I whispered in his ear, "Bloom and grow forever. Edelweiss, Edelweiss, bless my country and home."

HIs hand fell from my shoulder and he sighed, "Wov you, Fwang," he told me before shutting his eyes.

I didn't need an interpretation for that.

**Review!!! Review and I'll give you a...um...**looks around room** a chocolate dipped biscotii. They're really goooooood!  
**

**And I hope you apreciated the Edelweiss song. My nephew really can sing that and it took me _forever_ to find the lyrics cuz I kept spelling it 'Adelvise'. WHO THE HECK DECIDED TO SPELL IT '_EDELWEISS_'??!!  
**


	5. We Pretty

**Oh no! My brother just called and told us that Xavier is really sick and he's throwing up! :( Poor little guy, he's gotta be so miserable! **

**Get better soon, X-man!**

**Disclaimer: Why do I even have to write this? Anyone can plainly see I'm not JP!**

**Fang's POV  
**

"Fwang," Xavier was calling, "I pretty."

I pulled a pillow over my face, "Dat's wondafllll…" I said groggily. Xavier climbed on top of me and took the pillow away.

"UP!" he screeched if my face, "Fawaaaang, UP! Fwang and Xavier pretty!"

I forced my eyes open. How long had I been asleep? I took one look at Xavier's face.

Much, much too long…

"Xavier!" I gaped, "Y-Your face! Is that lipstick? Where did you get that from?" Xavier bounced up and down on me and pointed to Dr. Martinez's dresser which was cluttered with half-chewed on makeup. Oh God. Max was gonna flip. Not to mention kill me for letting this happen. Hm, that doesn't sound too appealing for some odd reason.

Xavier tilted his head to one side, as if to say 'What? Did I do something wrong?'. Normally, I would've killed him, but he just seemed so guiltless to all of his bad behavior. "Come on," I said, picking him up, "Let's go clean you up." He rested his head on my shoulder and nodded. Once in the bathroom, I sat him on the counter and wetted a washcloth to wipe the mess off. He didn't seem to like the idea of ruining his artwork, but before I even touched the cloth to his face I caught sight of my reflection. I had to cover my mouth so I wouldn't scream. Apparently Xavier had been a lot busier than I thought.

I looked like someone who'd tried to apply makeup going 120mph on the freeway. Xavier threw his arms in the air dramatically, "WE PRETTY!" he announced proudly. I started laughing and swooped him up in my arms.

"You're a bad boy," I told him, "We need a picture of this, better yet, a video." Xavier wiggled out of my arms and produced my camera from behind the wastebasket; handing it to me like him having it was normal.

"Uh, thanks…" I said, "What else you got in here that's mine…and breakable?" He shrugged and ran out of the bathroom and into my room, singing/screaming, "EDELWEISS, EDELWEISS, FWANG AND XAVIER PRETTY."

+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+

**Max's POV**

Xavier slept for a whole four hours before Fang brought him downstairs. I really would've preferred a longer nap, but anything was better than nothing. "So," I asked Fang as he handed Xavier off to Gazzy, "Do you think he'll be better now?"

"I dunno," Fang shrugged. Typical Fangish behavior.

Angel shuffled down the stairs and yawned, "You were right, Max," she chirped, "Sleeping did help, my headache's gone." And it also gave me a chance to dream-hop in Xavier's dreams. She told me telepathically. Oh God: dream hopping. That made me shutter.

**What'd he dream about?** I asked hesitantly.

Angel didn't respond for a while. Well, uh, I don't think you want to know… I don't think I want to either.

"…please?" I suddenly caught the end of what Gazzy what asking me, "Because I'm really hungry, and we didn't really eat lunch…" I glanced at the clock. 5:30. Dinner, right. I'd totally forgotten.

"Yeah, so, er," I started, "What do you guys want?"

"PIZZA!" my whole Flock said at the same time. Ok, not the _whole_ Flock, Fang doesn't yell like that.

"Pia!" Xavier screamed, "Pia, Max!" he attached himself to my leg, "Max? Fwang pretty." Fang picked him up and whispered something in his ear. Xavier fought him and kept trying to tell me something about 'pretty'.

"No, X-man," Fang hissed, "Don't tell her _that_." **(A/N we don't really call Xavier 'Xavier', he's either X, X-man, Xavier Raymond, or X-ray)**

I narrowed my eyes, "Tell me what?"

Fang stopped and smiled, "N-Nothing, just…nothing." Yeah right. "I'm gonna go order the pizza," he said quickly, taking Xavier along with him. He'd done something, but what?

I shook my head and walked upstairs to get my mom's credit card.

+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+

**Fang's POV**

"…yeah, delivered," I told the guy on the phone, "What's that? Yeah. Credit. Do you take Visa? Alright, and can I get it made f—"

"FANG!" Max screamed from upstairs, "GET YOUR ASS UP HERE! NOW!"

Uh oh…

**Kinda a short chapter, but I have to go clean my room, and God knows how long that'll take me...**

**AND REMEMBER TO REVIEW PLEASE! FOR XAVIER'S SAKE!!  
**


	6. Dinner

**HELLO! Yes, I am alive. Really sorry I haven't updated in a while. I'm feeling much better after the accident and am very thankful and touched by your concern :)**

**I was gonna put this up sooner, but first I was sick, then I had writers block, then the STUPID site had and error for DAYS, and I finally was able to get this up.**

**Once again, really sorry. This chapter is short, but I hope it can help make up for the time lost. **

**You're truly**

**~Rita**

**Disclaimer: I'm not JP. But you should know that by now.**

"Is it here yet?" Iggy whined, "It's been, like, an hour!"

I looked up at the clock, "Um, more like five minutes," I laughed.

Iggy scrunched his nose, "Well it _feels_ like an hour…"

_Ding dong._

He jumped up and tried to run to the door, but I pushed him back down, "Better let someone with social skills handle the delivery boy," I smirked.

Iggy crossed his arms, "Well then don't _you_ answer it," he scoffed.

I grabbed Xavier and walked into the front hall where Max was already paying the guy. The kid at the door looked up at Xavier and smiled, "Hey," he told us, "your son's cute. What's his name?"

My face turned a little red, "His name's Xavier, and he's not mine," I said quickly. Iggy came over and leaned on the wall, smirking.

"Aw, but you wish you and Max had a kid!" he said smugly. Xavier stuck his tongue out at him and yelled "Bad IgGEE!" I liked this baby.

The delivery guy cocked his head to the side, "Wait, are you the dad?"

Boy, total Kodak moment.

"I-I am NOT!" Iggy said in disgust, "I'm only fifteen!"

The kid shrugged, "So? That didn't stop my girl and I fr—" Max slammed the door. 'Thank you' or 'goodbye' may have been more civil reactions, but slamming the door in his face worked too, if not better.

We carried the pizza to the kitchen where Nudge, Angel and Ella were sitting down giggling, apparent having heard the conversation. Gazzy looked up at us and shook his head, "I don't get it," he said confused, "Why's that so funny? And how could people have babies at fifteen? I thought you had to be eighteen to get married." Poor Gasman, someday we'd tell him. But heck, I won't be the one to do it.

But apparently, Max thought it was his time and gave me that look. Next to me, Iggy started cracking up. "Oh God, Fang," he laughed, "I'm so sorry!"

I elbowed him in the stomach and he shut up. "Max," I protested, "Now not, please. Wait till he's—"

Max cut me off with a glare, took Gazzy's hand and put it in mine. Giving us both a little nudge she whispered to me, "And don't freak him out too much."

Gazzy had caught on that something bad was gonna happen and tried to run away, only to be stopped by Iggy. "No!" he cried, "Whatever you guys are talking about I DON'T WANNA KNOW!" Well at this point someone _had_ to tell him. Unfortunately for me, I was the only eligible candidate. Whoopee…

I slowly dragged him away into the living room, ignoring the whispering and giggles from the kitchen. I plopped the little guy on the couch and knelt in front of him. Taking a deep breath I started with the same words Jeb told a little dark-haired boy six years ago, "Now, Gazzy, God made guys and girls different for a reason…"

+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+

"Oh, come on," I hissed, "Just open your freakin mouth!"

Xavier slid further down in his highchair and stuck growled at me. The ongoing food battle had started ever since Fang left to give Gazzy 'the talk' and the little brat refused to give up. Of course, so did I.

"Xavier," I pleaded, "Just one bite, _one_ bite. That's all I'm asking." He thought about it then shook his head furiously. _He_ was the boss around here and he was_ not_ going to let _me _order _him _around. Well, I had some news for him. _I_ was in charge and he _was_ going to eat _whether he wanted to or not_.

But he had something else in mind.

"GABOO!" he screamed, pushing my hand away and pounding on his tray, "GABOO GABOO!" 'Gaboo' hadn't been in the manual, but Iggy had figured out it meant 'go away'. He still hasn't grasped the concept that I live here and he doesn't.

After several other failed attempts, I finally gave up and dropped the piece of cut-up pizza back on his plate. He grinned at me in triumph, but who would be smiling hours from now when a certain little someone would be starving because he hadn't eaten his dinner. He won this round, but he still hadn't won the war.

I sighed and looked over at the others. Ella and Angel were eating quietly and Iggy looked completely bored without his accomplice. But Nudge was looking at Xavier oddly. "Hey, Max?" she asked, "How come he was able to get pizza everywhere except for in his mouth?" It was true; Xavier looked somewhat like a pizza himself, with the sauce and cheese splatter all over his face and body.

"He's evil," I grunted, shoving pizza in my mouth, "Every single part of him is."

"He's not evil. You're just not doing it right." We all yelped as Fang's voice came out of nowhere and he did that re-appear-in-a-creepy-stalker-way thing we all hate so much. He smirked at us and sat down in the empty seat next to Iggy.

Iggy narrowed his eyes at Fang, "Where's Gaz?" he demanded, "What the hell did you do to him?!"

Fang shook his head, "We don't curse at the table," he said, "And I didn't do anything to him. He chose to spend the rest of his life in his room all by himself." He looked over at me and I rolled my eyes.

"I can't believe you," I told him, "Now, what were you saying about Xavier's stubbornness?"

Fang grinned at me and grabbed one of the cut-up pizza pieces I'd been trying to get Xavier to eat, "Watch and learn," he said holding it out in front of Xavier. Xavier opened his mouth and let Fang put the pizza in. He chewed it obediently, and when he swallowed it, he open him mouth for the next piece. My mouth hung open too, but for a different reason.

"H-How did you—But I tried that—Wha?!" I stuttered, "That's not fair!"

Fang shrugged and kept feeding the little brat, "I dunno either. Guess he just likes me better," he rubbed in my face. I slumped in my chair and watched Xavier act like the little angel he's not.

I hate him. I hate them both.

Xavier looked up at me, "Hate you too," he whispered.

**REVIEWS ARE LOVED. I'd write more, but I have to go to bed. Goodnight.**


	7. Peekaboo

**Ok, sorry I haven't updated in a few weeks. I've been super busy during the week and and out of town on the weekends. I felt the need to post _something_ today. The following isn't the whole chapter and I will post the rest later on today after I finish writing it. **

**Disclaimer: I own Xavier and only Xavier.**

I'm guessing you've all heard the expression "cry me a river"? You all know how it's not supposed to be taken literally? Well, Xavier doesn't know that and has soaked the carpet with his tears. Why? Because Fang disobediently went to take a shower and abandoned his fan club. His fan club is now on the floor in hysterics because of this cruel act of injustice.

Xavier did another dramatic buildup and burst into fresh tears, "FWAAAANG!" he cried, "NOOOO! Wov oo wov oooooo…"

Nudge picked him up and tried to bounce him on her knee, "I don't get it!" she yelled over his screaming, "Why does he like Fang and _only_ Fang? He doesn't even want Total now!"

Total scooted further under the couch and covered his ears with his paws, "For me, that's not a bad thing," he growled.

Ella took a turn holding Xavier and tried giving him his favorite stuffed animal, but he pushed it away and cried louder. Gazzy tried walking with him, but Xavier stubbornly wiggled out of his arms and fell on the floor. Angel was still too young to hold a baby, so I lifted him off the floor and cradled him, unsuccessfully rocking him. Hurry up, Fang!

Iggy, who'd been hiding under some pillows, suddenly sat up, "Max!" he said happily, "Sit down and have him face me. I have an Idea." I did what he said and watched him cover his face with his hands. "Peek-a-boo!" he squeaked uncovering his face. Xavier's scream dimed a bit and he looked at Iggy like he was crazy. Iggy tried it again, "Peek-a-boo!" Xavier was reduced to a whimper and just kept staring at Iggy's new game, totally absorbed.

"Peek-a-boo!"

"Peek-boo…" Xavier echoed. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards.

"Peek-a-boo!" This time Iggy shot forward and buried his face in Xavier's stomach, blowing on it. Xavier squealed with laughter and waving his arms demanding more. Iggy blew on him again and looked up at me. "I think he likes it," he told me, detangling the baby's hands from his hair, "Gazzy, you wanna try?"

The Gasman came over and cupped his hands over Xavier's face, "Hey?" he asked, "Has anyone seen Xavier?"

"No," Angel said in mocking surprise, "Gee, where could he be?"

Xavier moved Gazzy's hands away and threw his arms up, "PEEK-BOO!" he laughed. That made Gazzy laugh, which in turn made the little girls giggle.

Iggy and I sighed together. Maybe finally there could be peace.

+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+

Xavier's screaming had stopped for a good while now. At first I thought maybe the noise of the water was drowning it out, but even after I turned the shower off there was silence. I cautiously crept downstairs, hoping Max wouldn't kill me for purposely taking an extended shower for the sake of being alone.

But I found Max and the girls sitting quietly in the kitchen, doing whatever girls do. Max looked up at me and smirked, "Well, "she said, "Look who it is. I'm surprised you're not shriveled up like a prune for how long you were in there."

I shrugged and sat down at the counter, "Where're the others?" I asked her casually.

Max leaned against the counter top and looked up at the clock. "I sent Iggy and Gazzy to take Xavier to the park for a little while. They should be back soon."

"They're walking up the front steps right now," Angel spoke up, "I can hear their thoughts." Max and I looked at her and then each other. Having a mind reader was handy when you need to know where someone was; but sometimes I wonder just how much this girl has heard when I don't know she's listening. Creepy.

But she's very accurate and we heard the front door swing open. "MAX, FANG!" Iggy hollered, "TAKE HIM BEFORE I KILL HIM!" Hm, I wonder who "he" is…

Max groaned and shuffled out of the kitchen, knowing full well that this situation was not going to get any better. Wait for iiiiiit… "FANG!" Right on cue. I hesitantly followed the sound of Max's voice to the front hall. If I wasn't the emotionless guy everyone thought I was, I would've fallen to the ground laughing. But with Max making that face, and Iggy looking quite miserable, I decided to laugh about it later in the privacy of my own room.

Iggy and Gazzy were standing on the hall mat covered head to toe in oozing mud, their hair plastered to their heads. Iggy was holding a small, dripping, muddy Xavier in his arms. At least, I think it was Xavier; his face was mostly covered up by the mud. All except his mouth, which was giving me a big toothy grin. He was a bad boy and he liked it.

+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+

I doused X-man's head with water, washing suds out of his big blue eyes. He shook himself like a little dog and grinned at me, "All done!" he said for the thousandth time.

"No," I told him again, "You're not done yet. We still have to get your back and arms." He frowned and splashed water on me. I was already so wet it didn't really make a difference, but he did it anyway. I leaned down and kissed his head, "Well maybe if you hadn't gotten so muddy you could be playing with your toys instead of taking a bath. Think about it next time." He huffed and motioned for me to continue dumping soapy water on him; he understands a lot for being only one.

Xavier looked up at me, "One and a half," he corrected. I froze. Did he just…read my mind? He smirked and splashed water at me again. I grabbed his hand and forced him to look at me.

"X, did you just read my mind?" I asked. To anyone else, I would've looked like an insane person to ask a baby that. But Xavier knew what I meant. How do I know? Because he put a finger to his lips and whispered, "Hush, Fwang." He took my hand off his and motion for me to continue with what I was doing. I picked up the washcloth and poured soap on it; wait till Max heard about this.

+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+

**Alright, the rest is up. REVIEWS ARE LOVED.**

**:P**


	8. Bedtime

**Hm, odd. I don't really have anything to say today in my AN. So, uh, here's the next chapter! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: You know the routine.**

**Max'S POV  
**

"Are you sure maybe you didn't accidentally say it out loud?" I asked Fang, "Maybe you didn't realize you did."

Fang sighed, "No, I did not say it out loud. He read my mind, Max. How else would he have been able to answer?"

Angel shrugged, "Maybe it was just a coincidence?" she offered.

"Then how come he was able to answer Max at dinner? Was that a coincidence too? I don't think so." Fang leaned back on the couch, "You think maybe he's an experiment too?" he asked me.

I looked over at Angel who just gave me a "don't ask me" look. The three of us were sitting in the living room while Iggy, Nudge, Ella, and Gazzy played with Xavier upstairs. Fang had claimed Xavier was a mind reader and might be one of us. To me, it didn't seem likely, but then again, he did seem to know an awful lot.

Angel tugged on my shirt, "I could test him," she said, "You know, check him out to see if it's true. I've never met another mind reader before, but maybe I'll be able to tell just by reading his thoughts."

Fang nodded, "That's sound good."

"Alright," I told Angel, "we'll try that. If it doesn't seem to do anything, we'll just say it was a coincidence. But if it works…" I hesitated. What would we do? What would we tell his parents? Here's your son back; and by the way, he reads minds. Yeah, he's a freak. Such a pity, so sorry, our deepest apologies, have a nice life.

_If it does work, we could keep quiet about it._ Angel said in my head.

**But would that really be the right thing? **I asked **His parents deserve to know.**

I heard her chuckle in my mind _As long as we don't tell them the way you rehearsed in your head._ I frowned at her and she looked up at me innocently.

"I hope it was just a coincidence," I mumbled, "One mind reader is enough."

+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+

_Thump. _

_Thump. _

_Thump. _

_Thump._

_Thump._

_Thunk!_

"OOOOOWWWWWWW! FWWWWAAAAAAANG!"

"No, Xavier!" Fang yelled up the stairs, "Go. To. Bed!"

"NOOOOOO!" Xavier yelled back, "NO SWEEP! NO GO SWEEP! Up! Up! Up! I _awake_!"

Iggy rolled his eyes, "Yeah," he scoffed, "We know you're awake. Kinda hard to overlook that."

Fang groaned and ran upstairs. A minute later he came back down and grabbed my hand, dragging me to the stairs. I followed him up to my mom's room. Deja vue of ten minutes ago. X's crib is on the opposite side of the room from where we had it, it's knocked over, and he's pounding on the door to get out. Fang holds him while I put the crib upright and push it back where it should be. Fang puts Xavier back in. Xavier clings to him. I pry him off. He (_OW_) bites me. Fang tells him "no". He kicks Fang. Fang curses and pulls out the…wait, this is different.

"Fang, what are you doing," I demanded, "What's with the duct tape?"

Xavier hollered as his arms were pinned to the sheets and taped down. Fang kissed his head and grumbled "g'night" before leaving. Xavier stopped crying and stared at the door in complete shock. Fang strapped him to the bed and left? But he didn't give permission for that! His face melted into the saddest expression I've ever seen on a child. His best friend had abandoned him. He was crushed. Xavier laid his head down and cried quietly.

I felt bad for him, as annoying as he was. He's been torn away from his parents and forced to spend the day with complete strangers who don't really care about him. And now the only one who was kind to him has turned out to be just another heartless babysitter who's just doing it to be paid. Guilt built up in me and took over my body. I reached into the crib and unstrapped him, then carried him over to the bed.

He protested at first, but after a minute he wrapped his arms around my neck and let out a huge sigh. "Tired," he yawned, "Max, stay?"

I petted his head and lay down next to him on my mom's bed. It was kind of cute. His hair fell in his face like a curtain and his breath came in little….good God I'm losing it! I sat up. Was I really getting a soft spot for him? I barley know the kid! Let's just hope no one saw that—

The door opened a bit and Angel popped her head in. "Max?" she whispered, "I've been listening to his thoughts from downstairs. He seems pretty normal. I think we were just imagining…what are you doing?"

"Uh, well" I search for words while she came in and closed the door. Angel smiled and climbed on the bed next to me, "Aw, he's so little and cute when he's not terrorizing people!" she squeaked.

I let her lie down next on the other side of Xavier and we both kept quiet, watching him sleep peacefully. The door opened again and Gazzy slipped in.

"It's been awful quiet," he told me as he got in the bed next to Angel, "I thought maybe you'd killed him."

Angel moved over to give him room, "Nah, we were just watching him sleep. Isn't he so peaceful?"

The Gasman smiled, "Yeah," he breathed.

"What's going on?" Ella's voice said from the door. She and Nudge tiptoed over to us and awed together. I sighed and moved over so they could climb into our little group. Xavier stirred in his sleep, making little faces as the growing number of people started to squish him.

Light from the door fell on his face. Oh, you're kidding me. I had to put Xavier on my chest to let Iggy squeeze in next to Gazzy and Angel. He sensed my displeasure and shrugged, "Hey," he said quietly, "It was just me and Fang downstairs. I got bored."

Gazzy stifled a yawn and curled up with Angel. Iggy put his arm around both of them and closed his eyes. Ella and Nudge petted Xavier's head one more time before dropping off to sleep. Great, I'm squished between my Flock in the middle of a bed with a baby on me. I guess I could just….

Sleep…

Here…

+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+

Fang closed the door behind him and silently crawled into the bed, putting his arm around Max's waist. Xavier's eyes fluttered open and he smiled at Fang, "Wov oo," he said groggily.

Fang closed his eyes, "Wov oo too…"

**Remember to review please!!!!! I know it's been a while, but I'll try to update more quickly now!! :D**


	9. AN

**Today is Xavier's birthday!!! My little baby X-man is 2!!**


	10. Goodbyes Suck!

**I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN UPDATING!! I have no excuses this time, I just wasn't writing! I'm sorry!**

**But thank you to **UPDATENOW!!!! **for getting me writing again. If you hadn't written that to me, I probably wouldn't of updated for a few more weeks. So thank you.**

**Ok guys, last chapter right here! I might possibly write another fanfic after this one, but only if you want me too! So you have to tell me: do you want another fanfic or not? If I get enough yes's, I start writing ASAP. If there aren't enough, then I'm going to take a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong break from this site for a while.**

**Oh, and I changed my name.  
**

Ever had that dream where everything is just so perfect and harmonious? Ever wished you could stay there forever? Ever then been pulled forcefully back into reality and realized that everything is _not_ ok; everything is far from ok? In other words, have you ever woken up in your mother's bed, noticing the demonic baby you're supposed to be babysitting is no longer _in_ the bed, your two "bothers" are hugging each other in their sleep very awkwardly, your real sister has fallen off the bed, there is a dog asleep on your head, and the boy you've been having relationship troubles with is lying next to you with his face inches away from yours and his arms around your waist?

If it weren't for early morning amnesia, we'd always wake up screaming.

"Wha 'ya doing?" I groggily asked Fang, pushing him off me slightly. He groaned and just pulled me closer. Whoa. He just invaded my comfort zone.

"He's dreaming of you again," Angel's sweet voice chirped on my other side. I turned my head and gave her a look. She looked solemn, but I could tell she was holding back from laughing; which of course meant what she said was true. I shuttered, remembering what happened last time I knew what Fang was dreaming.

"Maybe," I whispered to her, "we can both sneak out and leave them all sleeping while we look for Xa—"

"Whazawaaa….."Iggy's voice grumbled next to Angel, "Shaddup, 'm tryn' ta sleeeep….WHAT THE?!" Angel and I looked over as Iggy tore away from Gazzy's awkward hug. Gazzy's eyes snapped open and he screamed at the closeness between him and his pyro mentor, backing up into Angel, who bumped into me, forcing me into Fang, who woke up as he whacked into Nudge, who promptly fell off the bed and landing on the now awake Ella. It was practically a scene from the song "There were nine in the bed…" except more painful.

Oh, and did I mention _Mom _was watching us?

"I was going to get you all up," she smirked at me, "But I think you have that under control." Then she gave Fang (who arm was still on me) a little "look". His arm jerked away from me that second; which was wonderful, because I was getting quite uncomfortable with him that close.

"Where's X?" Fang spoke up, trying to avoid Mom's "look".

"That's why I was coming to wake you," Mom told us, "He's leaving in a minute. His dad's already here and—"

Four winged children scrambled out of bed and rushed past Mom. Fang and I followed them much more civilly, but inwardly running just as fast.

Gazzy was first and swooped Xavier up; hugging him like a 3-year-old hugs a lost puppy. "I'm gonna miss ya, little guy," Gazzy cooed. X-man hugged him back and said "Miss yoo too."

Iggy got Xavier next and kissed him on the cheek, "Be good, ok?" he said sternly. Xavier nodded and kissed Iggy back…on the lips. There was a little awkwardness before Iggy passed him on to Nudge.

"Don't forget us," Nudge said softly, pushing Xavier's blond hair out of his eyes; he gave her a big hug, reassuring her he would never forget.

Angel ruffled his hair but stayed silent. WE all guessed she spoke to him in his mind, because his face lit up and he nodded vigorously. Nudge leaned down so Total could lick Xavier's face.

Nudge handed him off to me. Great, because I'm so wonderful with goodbyes. I looked at him, he looked at me. He stared tearing up and buried his head in my shoulder. Whether it was me or some ridiculous impulse, I hugged him, tenderly. I was gonna miss him, don't ask why. It was like something wonderful had happened, and now it was being taken away from us, suddenly but expectedly. Xavier kissed me on the cheek before reaching for Fang. I almost didn't let him go, for the first time I wanted to hold him. But Fang looked do longingly at Xavier that my arms just seemed to relax on their own, letting Xavier slip out of them, probably forever.

Fang's embrace cannot be described in words. Never in the Flock's lives has Fang caressed a baby so lovingly. It was ripping my insides apart to know these two mismatched friend would be torn apart, most likely never seeing each other again. Even if they did, Xavier was too little, he wouldn't remember all this, or us, or Fang. Fang knew that. It was written all over his face, as emotionless as he was trying to keep it. Painfully, he carried Xavier out to my uncle's car and put him in his car-seat. Xavier started crying and tried desperately to unbuckle himself and go back to Fang's warm arms. But Fang closed the door and silenced Xavier's cries.

No one but I saw Fang crying.

My uncle thanked us all for watching his son before getting in the car and starting it up. Six voices yelled goodbyes as the car drove out of sight; Xavier's hand could be seen through the back window, sadly waving.

After they were gone my Flock shuffled back in the house. Mom asked how it was watching a baby, we all said "fine". She could never know what'd we'd been through. Not now, at least.

The house felt so empty without the little monster running about breaking things. It was over, and we just had to accept that.

"I miss him," Gazzy sighed, slumping onto the couch. I sat next to him and hugged him.

"We'll see him again," I lied, "as soon as possible."

Fang, who'd snuck upstairs to his room, ran downstairs and came up to me, "Hey," he asked, "have you seen my laptop battery? I can't find it anywhere."

+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+*~*+

Miles away, Xavier sucked happily on the black laptop battery. "I have it," he whispered.

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